How to Win from Imposter Syndrome

Most successful leaders will have felt like an imposter at some point. The fear that people will one day find out the truth about you. That the outside world will one day realize that you are a fraud, that you are actually not as good as everyone thinks you are. What you have accomplished was based on pure luck, and in fact you are incompetent despite the evidence of your successful track record.

Does that sound familiar to you?

70% of successful people have experienced imposter syndrome at some point in their careers. It is most felt by women working in male-dominated industries and environments of high authority and power.

Dr. Valerie Young researched this phenomenon in women and wrote her findings in a book: “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women”.

There is enough evidence to show that men, too, feel like imposters. However, it’s often the women who spend a lot of time and energy ruminating on past events and what they could have done better, worrying about minor mistakes and blaming themselves when things turn out to be different than they had before hoped.

Valerie Young identifies 5 types of imposters:

1. THE PERFECTIONIST

Perfectionists set themselves extremely high goals, and if they don’t achieve them, they blame themselves. They feel that they are not good enough and doubt themselves. Their standards are so high, also for others, that they often take over and do it themselves when others don’t meet their standards. Their perfectionism goes down to the tiniest detail, down to the ‘control freak’ level.

Are you a perfectionist?

• Have you ever been accused of being a micro-manager?

• Do you find it difficult to delegate tasks?

• Do you feel disappointed or frustrated by the results of others?

• Do you believe the work needs to be done 100% right, 100% of the time?

• What do you say to yourself when things don’t go the way you expected?

Chances are, you are on your way to burnout. STOP and ASK yourself:

- How do you celebrate the successes you (and your team) have achieved?

- What would be different if you saw every ‘failure’ as learning and every ‘mistake’ as a stepping stone to your success?

- What is REALLY under your control and what is OUTSIDE your control?

- What would change if you ACCEPT a result as it is, without trying to fight or worry about it?

2. THE SUPERWOMAN/MAN

These are the leaders who feel inferior to others and often try to mask their insecurities by constantly pushing themselves and working harder than everyone else.

Are you a superwoman/man?

• Are you often the one who turns off the office lights when everyone else has gone home hours earlier?

• Are you having your lunch and sometimes even dinner at your computer because you consider breaks a waste of time?

• Have you given up your evening and weekend hobbies?

• Do you feel you constantly have to prove yourself to others?

This is the life of an imposter workaholic who is also on a perfect path to burnout.

- Ask yourself why you find it so important to get validation from others?

- Use feedback constructively as an opportunity for improvement.

- Stop taking things personally!

3. THE NATURAL GENIUS

The Natural Genius believes (s)he should be smart enough to ‘get it’ all 1st time. If it takes longer for them to ‘get the hang of’ or ‘master’ something, they feel ashamed.

Are you a Natural Genius?

• Were you always the smart one in school, a ‘straight A’ student?

• Do you avoid getting help from a mentor or coach because you think you can do anything?

• When you face a setback, does your confidence take a punch and you feel ashamed?

• Do you avoid taking on challenges as you’re afraid to fail?

“We are all a work in progress”

Nobody can be good at everything. Pay attention to your behavior and:

- STOP beating yourself up if you don’t achieve what you want.

- Ask yourself: In which areas do you feel uncomfortable and what small steps can you take to improve yourself?

4. THE SOLOIST

Asking for help will reveal that you are an imposter and don’t have it all together.

Are you a Soloist?

• Do you want to complete tasks on your own?

• Do you believe you don’t need anyone’s help?

- Start asking for help. You can practice by asking even for the tiniest thing. Most people love to help other people.

5. THE EXPERT

Experts believe they don’t know enough and are afraid of being seen as inexperienced or unknowledgeable.

Are you an Expert?

• Are you constantly looking for training, certifications, and reading books because you think you need to improve your skills?

• Do you avoid applying to jobs when you feel you don’t tick ALL of the listed educational requirements and experience?

• Do you feel uncomfortable if someone calls you ‘the expert’?

It’s great to improve your skills and knowledge level, but not when it’s actually a cover up for procrastination.

- When seeking additional training and education, consider: Why do I think I need this training and why do I need it NOW?

- If you struggle to find a solution to a problem at work, what would be another way to get answers? (for example: who in your support team can help you; senior leaders, a mentor, or a coach?)

The chances are that at some point in your life, you also behaved in a way that was not aligned with who you truly are, covering up your fear, hiding your true feelings, avoiding the chance to stand out for fear of failure, to overcompensate in order to be accepted, to deny yourself in order to seek someone else’s approval, someone else’s validation. I know I did – many times!

It's not fair to yourself, it’s not kind and completely unnecessary.

What would your life be like if you truly and fully accept yourself, trust your capabilities, own your achievements and lean into your personal power?