What to do with the high-performing bully on my team?

It was all over the news in the Netherlands last weekend. Another case of alleged workplace bullying and sexual harassment. This time in the Sports News part of the Dutch National Television. The leadership team has stepped down.

I have worked in a male-dominated environment for many years. I’ve experienced sexual harassment and bullying myself and have seen it happen to other female and male colleagues on multiple occasions. In most cases, the bullies were high-performing superstars who achieved great financial results. This often creates a dilemma for the leaders.

A few months ago, I spoke to one of my clients who had a woman on his team who exceeded her sales targets but was a pain to work with. Her toxic behavior significantly impacted the rest of the team, eventually leading to a conflict with another team member to the extent that they did not want to work together anymore. My client wanted to break the impasse and had to decide to let one of the two team members go. The choice wasn’t an easy one.

We tend to focus first on how bullying and harassment affect the victim, which can be devastating and lead to long-term health issues.

What about the harmful effects of toxic behavior on the rest of the team?

They are not always visible to the leader. Here’s what I have seen happening in teams with one or more bullying high achievers:

• It creates fear among team members who think, “Will I be the next target?”. This can lead to inauthentic behavior and stress.

• It shuts people down. Others on the team don’t want to speak up or disagree with the bully as “they seem to know what they’re doing looking at their results.”

• People leave. Talented team members may take their capabilities elsewhere simply because they want to work in a safer, friendlier or more collaborative environment.

• Failure to stop the behavior erodes the team’s trust and respect in the leader and their leadership.

• It distracts the team. Toxic behavior affects not just the victim but everyone. People who experience a shocking incident want to discuss it with others and share their thoughts and emotions.

• It can divide the team. I often see people taking sides; some side with the bully and accept the behavior as the price to pay for good results. Others side with the victim. These team dynamics create division.

• It belittles people. High-performing bullies often place themselves above others on the team. When they also receive praise and rewards for their achievements, it signals to others that ‘this is the way to do it.’

• It permits others to behave in the same way. If senior management accepts and rewards this behavior, others can feel encouraged to do the same.

These are just some consequences I saw when bullying and toxic behavior were tolerated or ignored. It is up to the leader to engage with the individual and address the behavior. If they refuse to cooperate and put themselves at the service of the team, you have to ask yourself: Will the long-term damage to ALL people involved outweigh the short-term financial gain?

At the end of our session, my client decided to let go of the high-performing team member. The effect was immediately visible. The moment he saw this was what he wanted to do, he sighed in relief. I immediately saw his shoulders drop. He said he never realized how much stress this situation had caused him for months. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.