The Pink Elephant
I spoke with (let’s call her) Sandra this morning. Sandra is a VP in a marketing agency. I asked her how her week had gone, and she said: “Not great. I really have a hard time putting my mind at ease.” She explained that she was very nervous about a meeting with a potential client tomorrow and, given the state the business is in now, she knows it is very important for her to ‘bring in’ that client. She doesn’t want to let the team down, but she is also not feeling confident that she will be able to pull it off.
I reminded her of the Performance Equation:
PERFORMANCE = POTENTIAL – INTERFERENCES
We started talking about what might be interfering with her upcoming performance. Well, many things – in particular her thoughts:
- Thoughts about whether her presentation was good enough.
- Thoughts about what would happen if the client would say NO.
- Thoughts on how she would tell the team if the client declined the offer.
- Thoughts about what consequences would be for her if things went south; would she lose her job?
- Feelings of stress, self-doubt, worry, ….
All of her thoughts and feelings about the FUTURE distract energy from her PERFORMANCE in the moment. As a result, she is already putting herself at a huge disadvantage before the presentation started!
When Sandra started to become AWARE of how her thoughts and feelings kept her from performing at her best, we continued and discussed how she could NOT have her energy blocked by her mind creating horror stories about the future.
HOW CAN YOU ‘NOT’ THINK ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS?
Now, this can be tricky. How do you NOT think about the PINK ELEPHANT?
1. Just because YOU think a thought, doesn’t mean it’s YOURS.
We typically have over 6000 thoughts per day. Unfortunately, you have no control over that. Just because a thought pops up in your head, it doesn’t mean YOU created it.
2. Don’t BELIEVE everything you think.
Thoughts just come and go. That’s what they are supposed to do. But what do we often do? We hang on to them. We don’t let them go. We fixate on them – especially the ones that scare us. We make them bigger and bigger. We start attaching to them. We take them seriously. We create a whole story around them and then we start BELIEVING them. Before you know it, these stories are consuming all your energy. They take over your emotions and affect your behaviour and your performance.
3. You always have a CHOICE
You have the option to believe your own made-up stories, become victim to them and have them soak up all your energy (not a great choice when you’re just about to go into an important meeting) OR you separate your story from reality.
Take a step back, become aware of your thoughts, accept that these are ‘just thoughts and let them go.
Once you step away from your thoughts and stories, a tremendous amount of ENERGY is freed up and can be applied to your PERFORMANCE IN THE MOMENT.
I discussed with Sandra what she could control and focus on during her presentation tomorrow. She came up with:
• Taking a deep breath before she begins her presentation
• Listen carefully to what the client is saying
• Listen for what he needs and respond to that
• Feeling the energy in the room
• Focus on the client’s body language
• During her presentation, focus on ‘connecting with the client’
Sandra was fully aware of the reality that business is down, that’s a fact. However, what’s also a reality is that she’s successfully done many of these type of presentations before, so she’s perfectly capable of doing this one too. She has no control over the outcome, but she chooses to look at what she can control, to show up 100% energetic and to focus on doing the presentation the best she can.
“The best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh
Let’s Lead!
